I think Henry \”loved\” Anne because she didn't give in to him and become his mistress, like all the others.  He was keen to ditch Katherine (whom he also \”loved\” in the beginning) when she became unable to have a child.  Anne's failure to have a son, doomed her and I daresay that if Jane Seymour had failed to have a son, her status of \”favourite\” wife would not have been conferred.

Catherine Parr was almost destroyed in a plot and it was only her quick-thinking which saved her – I am sure Henry would have got rid of her, if he felt like it.

Henry, in my opinion, always was selfish and egotistical, whether he truely loved anyone other than himself is moot. 

Jane died giving Henry what he desired above all things – an undoubtedly legitimate son.  Of course his heart was with her – she didn't fail at her prime task and she died before he got tired of her. 

I think Henry had a huge capacity for self pity. By dying giving him the thing he most wanted in the world, Jane earned herself a posthumous place on a pedestal that she didn't enjoy in life. I think Anne was probably the love of his life but he allowed himself to be bounced into getting rid of her. He turned the Tudor world upside down to get her. Is that lust, obsession or love? Had she produced a son, I suspect theirs would have been a love story like Edward IV and Elizabeth Woodville (Henry's grandparents) rather than the tragedy it became.

Louise

Probably if you asked Henry who his favourite wife was, he'd say Jane.  After all she was the only one who gave him the one thing above all else that he expected of a wife: a healthy, living son.  The fact that she died soon after perhaps helped too, in that he didn't have time to grow tired of her on any personal level.

Katherine Parr, I think, would probably come second – he actually let her off the hook for her perceived religious transgressions and I really think she managed to bring him some tiny measure of contentment in his final years.

Catherine of Aragon would be next, despite not believing himself to have ever been lawfully married to her and the suffering he put her through, I think he managed to keep a grudging respect for her and her abilities.

The next three are hard to place but I'm gonna put Anne of Cleves next, despite Henry's intense dislike of her personally.  This is based solely on the idea that if you asked him, I personally think both Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard would be completely persona non grata with him, even though out of all his wives they were the two he probably loved most passionately.  Once Henry had decided to get rid of someone that was it; they were gone, totally airbrushed from history as if they never existed.   

I've heard that both Henry and Anne wept privately upon hearing of Katharine's death. I don't know if the story is true, but if it is, there must have been very conflicted feelings in both of them, since they also danced with joy. Maybe the tears were just for the stress of the whole drawn-out thing finally being over. An adrenaline crash, so to speak.

Claire said:

I don't think Henry's love for Anne was an infatuation as it lasted a long time for Henry, if you look at how long her pursued her before their marriage (7 years). I know that you can't compare this to the length of time he was married to Catherine, but he didn't know he could get rid of her until Anne came along. I don't think that his love for Anne died quickly and I don't think it was an obsessive infatuation. He had found a woman who understood how he ticked and that he could discuss things with, she was his equal and was as passionate as he was. They were forever falling out and making up and I wonder if they would have made up if Anne had managed to get to speak to Henry and explain herself to him. He managed to forgive Catherine Parr when she explained herself to him, so what if Anne had got to Henry? What would have happened then?

Yes, we have Henry's words saying that Jane was his “true wife” but that doesn't mean that she was the love of his life, I would say that that title belonged to Anne or Catherine. He was despicable to Jane when she was alive and this treatment started straight away, he even said to someone that he regretted marrying her. Of course, her providing him with a son did change this and she became the wife who had actually done her job properly and he was forever grateful to her for this but again this doesn't mean that she was the love of his life. I wonder if guilt made him say that she was his true wife and put her in that famous family portrait. He wasn't the nicest of husbands and she died giving him what he wanted.

I agree with you, Claire. I think Henry called Jane his “favorite” and “true” wife only because of Edward. Because, really, boys were the reason he married so many times–if he had had sons with Catherine, he would probably have just stayed with her and constantly had mistresses. Anne or Catherine was either the love of Henry's life, but Anne was the most like him: both were hot-tempered, bold, proud, arrogant… She was, in my opinion, his true match, though if Catherine had given him sons they most likely would have been a very happy couple.

DuchessofBrittany said:

What I'm about to write will no doubt upset many, so when you rebuke me, please be kind. I think the only person Henry really loved was himself. I am sure with each wife was his favourite, at one time. However, he was incapable of loving another person. His passionate lust for Anne quickly turned to passionate hate, and that was a deadly combination.

He disposed of people he supposedly loved with such quick force and callous disregard for their lives. This was not limited to his wives. His friends, those that chose to deny him, found themselves sent to the block. Other than the syncophants, people like Anne, More, and others were disposible objects when they had served their purposes.

However, according to Henry, Jane was his true wife. She gave him what mattered to a King– a son to carry on his name. While we know what became of Mary and Elizabeth, Henry was more concerned about his lines legitimacy and longevity than how any wife felt. Catherine didn't give a son; Anne didn't give him a son, but Jane did. According to Henry's thought process, Jane was the victor.

While I would love to believe Henry and Anne loved one another unconditionally, I feel their relationship was based upon mutual sexual attraction, political ambition, and a failed plan to continue Henry's line with sons. Had Anne or Catherine of Aragon begot a son, they would have been victorious. But, alas it was not to be.

I still think that Anne was Henry's soul mate, and Jane his 'favorite' because of Edward, but I agree with you, DuchessofBritanny. His one true love was himself (and power of course).

I have to disagree with anyone that said that he would have tired of Jane if she had lived through the birth of Edward. Provided that Edward survived Henry (which he did), Jane would never have been cast aside. Her position as the true wife of the King (if you go by Henry’s interpretation of the Bible) was confirmed by the fact that she gave him a healthy son. Henry would have undoubtedly have tried to have another son, an heir and a spare so to speak, but so long as Edward lived to become King after him, Henry would have been happy and would have more than likely put up with Jane regardless. One of Henry’s main pieces of  “evidence” against Katherine of Aragon is that she did not produce a healthy son, the ones that she did produce were stillborn, miscarried or dead within a few months. And according to Henry’s interpretation of the Bible, only a legitimate marriage would produce sons.

All of that being said though, that does not speak of Henry’s love for Jane, only his love for what she was able to do for him.

I think that I would have to say that the wives he loved the most were Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn, even though the kind of love he felt for them were different. With Katherine, he had a deep love that lasted over 20 years. Up until he met Anne, he cared very deeply for her and their daughter. Anne on the other hand was a far more passionate, destructive type of love, and no matter what anyone says about it just being lust, you cannot deny that lust doesn’t typically last for 7 years of pursuit.

I personally agree with Kim about who Henry loved truly most: Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. That being said, he couldn’t have well cast Jane Seymour aside given that she gave him what he wanted most, Edward. I think that Katherine Parr was good for him as well though, because she was gentle and soothing and able to put up with his rages. KoA and Anne’s love for Henry and protectiveness/passion ended up getting them into trouble. They were probably Henry’s two soulmates (and I would argue Anne Boleyn as first, KoA as second) but Anne and Henry did not function well because they both had such tempers, and whatever affection Henry retained for KoA left when she defied him–a problem with both Anne and KoA was that they defied him and were stubborn, and as we mentioned before Henry loved to be in power and feel like he was in power, which might have been part of the initial attraction for Jane, Catherine Howard, and Catherine Parr.