Today is the anniversary of Mary Boleyn’s death in 1543 so I thought I’d focus on her today.
Mary Boleyn is a bit of a mystery lady, the perfect blank canvas for historical novelists, and that’s because we actually know very little about her even though she was the sister of a queen and the mistress of a king. We don’t even know where she was buried in 1543!
Although it’s often said that Mary Boleyn was the king’s mistress in 1522, there’s actually no hard evidence to support that. Historians who date their relationship to 1522 use the Shrovetide celebrations as evidence. At the Shrovetide joust, Henry VIII rode out with the motto “Elle mon Coeur a navera”, or “She has wounded my Heart”, with a picture of a wounded heart embroidered on the trappings of his horse. He was followed by Nicholas Carew who wore a motto in French translating to “in prison I am at liberty, and at liberty I am in prison”, others wore the mottos “my heart is between joy and pain”, “my heart is bound” or “my heart is broken”, and Anthony Browne had embroidered broken gold hearts and the words “sance remedy” (without remedy). The theme was definitely unrequited love, but that doesn’t mean that the king was wooing Mary Boleyn, does it? It could have been another lady or it may have just been a courtly love theme, as was usual for such pageants.
I wish we knew more about Mary Boleyn’s relationship with the king!
Here is a video I made about what we do know about Mary Boleyn:
I hope that one day, more information will be found about Mary Boleyn. It’s a shame that we only have so little on her! Thanks Claire for an extremely interesting video!
Interesting video indeed, I agree thank you Claire, Mary is indeed a blank canvas and really if she were to come alive today and read how she has been portrayed in numerous novels, I am sure she would laugh her head of, the ‘myth’ of Mary Boleyn, later Cary and Stafford describes her as fair and mild tempered, rather flighty of loose morals and how she chose love over ambition and defied her family when she eloped with her last husband is what makes many admire her and warm to her, but what was she really like? Let’s consider her looks first of all, the Hever portrait shows a most attractive lady with warm large brown eyes and a peaches and cream complexion, there are other portraits said to be of her and in these there is a resemblance in the facial features, she has a round face small mouth and large eyes, her hair colouring we do not know but she could have had dark chestnut hair like her sister or even auburn, the myth that she took after her mothers side of the family is just that as we do not know if the Howard’s were dark or fair, Catherine Howard was auburn, it could be that there were a mixture like in many families and no one knows what colouring Elizabeth Boleyn had, regarding Mary’s character she was just like it appears many of the women of her age, meek and servile as was the lot of theTudor gentlewoman, she was not fiery like Anne but she could have had a temper, Mary like many of her class knew she was expected to make a good marriage and run a large estate, and have children, if she were lucky she would have a place at court, both Mary and Anne were fortunate that their father secured for them places in the French court where they both learned many skills, Anne being previously at Savoy, both Anne and George the youngest sibling were talented cultured and interested in reform, but Mary was it appears of average intelligence and no one ever praised her like her younger sister, Ann was noted for being very stylish elegant and erudite, but Mary ruffled no feathers however, rumours abounded she had been the French kings ‘wh*re,’ later in England she became the English kings ‘wh*re,’and here we know nothing either, no sources tell us when it began how long it went on for and when she was rejected from the royal bed, the information on her we have throughout her uneventful life is sketchy and she makes no lasting impression she is merely ‘there’, like her mother who also is vague and shadowy, no wonder those fascinated by Anne are equally fascinated by Mary, both her sister and brother were central players in the drama surrounding Henry V111’s court, Mary is famous only by association, was Mary really meek and immoral? Alas we will never know maybe she was a victim of circumstance which is what many of us are, and her fellow contemporaries, it is easy when young to be abroad in a foreign court and dazzled by the splendour of it all, it is also very easy to succumb to the desires of its king also, the most powerful man in the realm, a young naive girl would have found it well nigh impossible to spurn his advances, for one thing fear of retribution if she angered her would be lover is a possible reason she became his mistress, and this also could be why she succumbed to Henry V111, a fear of a fall from favour, her father was a diplomat and highly prized, maybe she was afraid Henry’s wrath would descend on Thomas Boleyn, there is her first marriage to William Carey who died whilst in his prime, leaving her with two young children, we do not know if she loved him but she was obviously afraid for the future as she had to plead with Thomas Cromwell to intercede with her father for financial help, it is sad to know this young woman had to write to the kings Secretary because her own father refused to put his hands in his pockets, Mary married a minor courtier became pregnant by him and was cast out by her family, in her letter to Cromwell she wrote of the love her and Stafford had for each other, we can see they thought she was a disappointment as she herself wrote, ‘the world set so little store by me’, lacking her siblings brilliance maybe her parents spoilt them more, without meaning to, some parents do have favourites but many are cautious enough not to let the others know it, Mary did not have the academic mind of her father and which Anne and George both possessed, but she must have been loved for herself and in that age of high infant mortality every child was a gift from god, besides daughters were good bargaining tools, she was born around the turn of the century and died at forty three, not very old some Tudors lived to their sixties and there were exceptional cases, her granddaughter Lettice Knolley’s died in her nineties, her last pregnancy is a mystery and the only conclusion is that the baby died whilst in the womb, or soon after birth, her grave also is a mystery and I wonder if her widow had her buried in the Howard crypt along with her mother, she is the only member of the Boleyn family whose resting place is unknown, another missing piece of the many other pieces of the jigsaw that is unfortunately lady Mary Carey Stafford nee Boleyn.